Monday, February 09, 2009


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Sarah, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
Sarah: I is . . .
TEACHER: No, Sarah . . .. Always say, 'I am.'
Sarah: All right . . . 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher


theartofpuro said...

Eh Eh Eh funny

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palma tayona said...

hahahahaha!!! these are the same wise-ass replies my nephew Deus would give out! goodness!!! it's like reading that kid's words in english. the jokes cracked me up.

yoon see said...

So funny.
I am teacher that talk non stop.
My students called me a "machine gun"

Michael O'Connell said...

my daughter sent these to me… i had to laugh as well… i taught at the college level for seven years, and while my students probably thought they were smarter than the little ones, i would have to say that they are mistaken.

and some of my students had a nickname for me as well… "Quark Nazi"… i taught them how to design and use the page layout program… the ones who listened and did what i told them knew that program better than most professionals by the time the class was over!