fear is not really a phobia but…

A phobia (from the Greek φόβος "fear"), is a strong, persistent fear of situations, objects, activities, or persons. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive, unreasonable desire to avoid the feared subject. When the fear is beyond one's control, or if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made. – Wikipedia


What I really fear is what power has done to America – the politicians, the business owners and the poeple. Why do we tolerate it? How do we sleep at night knowing that someone, somewhere is being tortured all in the name of democracy. I do not condone in the slightest the evil or the twisted reasoning that those who attack the United States and other like minded, freedom loving countries. Nut it is no wonder they hate us so much.

This is an exerpt from an editorial in the Washington Post.

Are We Really So Fearful?
Ariel Dorfman

He confessed to anything and everything they wanted to drag from his hoarse, howling throat; he invented accomplices and addresses and culprits; and then, when it became apparent that all this was imaginary, he was subjected to further ordeals.
There was no escape.

That is the hideous predicament of the torture victim. It was always the same story, what I discovered in the ensuing years, as I became an unwilling expert on all manner of torments and degradations, my life and my writing overflowing with grief from every continent. Each of those mutilated spines and fractured lives -- Chinese, Guatemalan, Egyptian, Indonesian, Iranian, Uzbek, need I go on? -- all of them, men and women alike, surrendered the same story of essential asymmetry, where one man has all the power in the world and the other has nothing but pain, where one man can decree death at the flick of a wrist and the other can only pray that the wrist will be flicked soon.

It is a story that our species has listened to with mounting revulsion, a horror that has led almost every nation to sign treaties over the past decades declaring these abominations as crimes against humanity, transgressions interdicted all across the earth. That is the wisdom, national and international, that has taken us thousands of years of tribulation and shame to achieve. That is the wisdom we are being asked to throw away when we formulate the question - Does torture work? - when we allow ourselves to ask whether we can afford to outlaw torture if we want to defeat terrorism.(...)

Can't the United States see that when we allow someone to be tortured by our agents, it is not only the victim and the perpetrator who are corrupted, not only the "intelligence" that is contaminated, but also everyone who looked away and said they did not know, everyone who consented tacitly to that outrage so they could sleep a little safer at night, all the citizens who did not march in the streets by the millions to demand the resignation of whoever suggested, even whispered, that torture is inevitable in our day and age, that we must embrace its darkness?

Are we so morally sick, so deaf and dumb and blind, that we do not understand this? Are we so fearful, so in love with our own security and steeped in our own pain, that we are really willing to let people be tortured in the name of America? Have we so lost our bearings that we do not realize that each of us could be that hapless Argentine who sat under the Santiago sun, so possessed by the evil done to him that he could not stop shivering?... (more)

My Back Yard

When you live in Riverside and renovate an old house, you never know what you might find - or find out. My house has yielded some pretty interesting things. Last week, a man showed up at my door and wanted to see the place. He grew up in the house in the sixties and seventies. It seems that Lynyrd Skynyrd actually jammed on my porch numerous times. He told me all about the missing plaster in our house and the history of some of the renovations that were made. He told me how the huge magnolia in our back yard was used to hoist engine blocks out of his friends' cars to work on them and how the gouges can to be in the bathroom door. We always thought that the owners we bought the house from were responsible as they hacked up the kitchen cabinets fairly well among other destructive things.

The stories from the past are certainly amazing. I can't imagine what we don't yet know, but it's the yard where the best treasures are found. Every time I work in my yard (and believe me, it needs work) the earth yields another secret. Recent finds include Batman and Power Ranger figures, a rubber lizard that has been keeping all the Cuban lizards company and a Ronco-matic type hair trimmer comb. Every time the earth is tckled, she yields another secret. The most amazing by far is the unidentified copper work of art my oldest dug up while weeding. If you know what it is, please drop me a line. I am going to start a new feature on the Rap blog for others who have found unusual treasures from the past.

Rube Goldberg Lives

I generally HATE getting impersonal, forwarded e-mail. It's not that I don't appreciate something funny, emotional or moving. It's just that they are… impersonal. I guess to good part of it all iss that my friends are thinking about me. And that in itself is a wonderful thing. And even though I HATE it, it is like watching a car wreck, I find I just can't help myself. Maybe it's because I am hoping that I will actually find a personal note attached. More likely, it's because I just don't want to miss anything.

Here's one of those "moving" ones. It's not the spiritual kind of moving, it's something else. It's actually a Honda commercial. There are no computer graphics or digital tricks in the film. Everything you see really happened in real time exactly as you see it. The film took 606 takes. On the first 605 takes, something, usually very minor, didn't work. They would then have to set the whole thing up again.

The film cost $6 million to make and another small fortune to run because it is a two minute commercial, but it is one of the most watched ads on the net and is actually paying for itself. The voiceover is by Garrison Keillor, but I didn't hear it because I

And you thought those people that set up a room full of dominos to knock over were amazing...

CHANGE

It is said that change is the transition that occurs from same to different. While that may be the rule, sometimes it is the other way around. I am getting ready to go into a focus group this morning. While I do enjoy the dialog and ideas that focus groups can offer, most of the time the outcome of the focus group encourages the dumbest that a group can offer.

Our society is influenced and manipulated by marketing and advertising agencies. Pollsters and lobbyists control our political parties. And the almighty dollar has become the Almighty.

But that doesn’t mean that everyone is a victim of the dumbing down of the world. There are mavericks who do what they feel is right and have the courage to stick by their ideas. I applaud them and encourage you all to refuse to change to fit in.

And on a Positive Note… RUN

I had to work Sunday. Sometimes th new job requires that. But it was enjoyable work. We hosted a community art project in the park across the street from the Museum where I work. The event was called Sunday in the Park with George. We loosely based the idea on the musical of the same name. We started with an illustration that I did of Marilyn (for the Andy Warhol aspect) and had everyone paint it in a pointillist style (for Georges Seurat). We also let people do oil pastels mini portraits that they could take home or add to our collage. The kids were great and had loads of fun. It's amazing to see everyone's different portraits. It was hot but we sure did have fun.

So, where does "run" come into play? Well, look closely at the painting. There's plenty of running going on there.

Run

Why is it that we are always in such a hurry to grow up? As a child, I saw everything with much clearer vision. The world was a much happier place. I didn't care what was happening half way around the world much less who killed who across town. I look at my childdren and they are worried about those things. My younger daughter worries about the things in the world constantly as well as the homeless people in the park at the end of our street… and not the good kind of worry. Our children have been forced to grow up quicker. The onslaught of marketing starts at birth and nothing they do in their lives isn't watched and recorded. They want to be taller, prettier or the best. Nothing is that bad about these things but when you add them all together… you realize… that childhood is a thing of the past and the world is out there waiting to eat you up if you give it the chance… where are the simpler things in life?

Illustration Friday - Match

OK so I was back for a couple of weeks. They jsut seem to keep finding things for me to do so I dusted off an old image and here you go.

There is a bit of a tie-in with the previous posts as this does seem to show a bit of the underbelly of society. I went through a phase where I painted in this splatter style watercolor. They were quick and fun and left many a thumbnail stained with pigment.

It is amazing how stream of thought or serendipity has a place in life. I had an old painting with a match and I just drew one at work for a project. I'll add that quick sketch later. And maybe, just maybe, I'll find the time to try something completely new.

Thanks for stopping by.

330 Miles Per Gallon!

It can be done… at least that's what the builder says. Even if it doesn't make it all the way to 330 mph whatver it does will be better than what we have now. The manufacturer's website is interesting but the discussion on Wired's Autopia blog poses a lot to think about beyond this one vehicle.

We can only dream.

Illustration Friday - Play

it's playtime and since i was having so much fun last week, i decided to stick with the series… so, it isn't as much fun as catching rain with a butterfly net but you haven't seen where he plans to set sail…

and sailing is probably the best idea for travel these days anyway… what with the gas prices the way they are and flying is a bit scary right now… gas-guzzling SUVs, manned by crazed, gun-toting fools with cell phone permanently attached to their heads kind of makes driving anywhere some kind of loopy… so… time to set sail…

night all…

Illustration Friday – Capture

Capture can get a person to thinking about all sorts of dark and scary images. The citizens of my lovely city are enduring somewhat of a murder spree, Jacksonville has surpassed Miami for bragging rights in the state of Florida and will probably make the top ten in the country. The neighbors on my street has been plagued by recent thefts and breakins, and I have had to deal with attempts.

So it would have been easy to just dust off my long unused pencils or watercolors and drawn some kind of criminal capture with a bit of police brutality thrown in for good measure. BUT I couldn't. I chose instead to look to the lighter side of lifeÂ… at things that make me happy. And children most certainly do that. My own children are such a joy.

I like the way their logic works and that's what got me to thinking about this weeks word. If a child wanted to catch some rain drops what better thing to use than the butterfly net that he used only minutes before to capture a butterfly?

Oh yeah, and if any of the thugs in this city get near any of my kids, they better HOPE and PRAY that the police catch them before I do. There. Now you get a little bit of darkness from me.

It feels good to be back.

Illustration Friday – Skyline

so… i made it back… just barely…

this is part of a job for a friend… he owns a great comic book and toy shop called gotham city limits… yes, i'm a bit of geek, but i'm not quite a mouthbreather…

the logo should count for the skyline… it is one of three logos that i have designed with skylines in them… the FridayFest logo is the other of the award winning logos… the remaining one is actually for Skyline Realty and the client dictated the look to me and every time i see it, my skin crawls… ah well… who said the client is always right…

Questions…

my girls never ceas to amaze me… i am the only male in my household and so i have gotten used to being in tough with the feminine quite a bit but my wife and daughters are all so different… i can see little bits of my pesonality… interests… in both of my girls… as well as my wife's and i guess that is only natural but as i said earlier… they never cease to amaze me… for instance my oldest always comes up with the most amazing and off-the-wall/out-of-the-blue questions (and an answer to this would be welcome… speculation is great too) she just came in and asked me why men's t-shirts are so long? any ideas? anyone?

Still Here… But Mostly, Still There

Moved in. There is just so much work. The museum is relly diggin having an artist on staff and taking full advantage of irt. Deadlines are killing me. BUT… I'm still loving it… as they say in the Mickey D commercials.

The new job is great. The rest of the new crew will be in by the end of the week. Then, the work will really begin.

So, anyway, apologies for being quiet. More to come as I settle in.

Illustration Friday - Dance

when the world has grown weary of me and my ways…
don’t walk away teary for halcyon days…

look to the sky… on the leaf by the path…
and open your eyes… remember my laugh.

when you have the choice, don’t miss the chance…
to raise a glass… to do a dance…

but i’m not gone… i still walk this earth…
for many years… and for all it’s worth…

i’ll give what I can … probably more…
and never pass by that unopened door…

i’ll laugh… i’ll cry… and i’ll hold your hand…
and do the unexpected and all that i planned…

life may be hard, but i’ll have fun…
and the world will grow weary of all that i’ve done…

so until then… i shall dance…

i figured I'd better get a jump on it this week… i start a new job monday… settin up shop at one of the largest museaums of modern art in the south… maybe i'll be able to sneak a painting or two on the wall when no one is looking…

Illustration Friday - Jungle

"Why are senseless slayings so assaulting to the senses?"

As soon as I heard this week's topic, I thought of the concrete jungle. But, "concrete" just doesn't say enough. It has become an urban jungle where only the strongest survive. In business and life on the streets it is the same. It seems man cannot tolerate the earthly jungle of trees and animals…not as a species. We seem to have to dig and destroy and build our own temples to and for ourselves. I would almost say that we are like ants. We build our communities and they spill over into the surrounding landscape. We wage war against the neighboring communities, making raids and stealing food. But that would not be fair to ants.

I just read that Tim Hildebrandt died this past Sunday. For those of you who aren't familiar with his work, he and his twin brother, Greg, were giants in the fantasy illustration field. I first came across their work after reading The Lord of the Rings. He and his brother were also responsible for the original Star Wars movie poster. I am sure that geeks and mouthbreathers all over the world are in mourning. I think their interpretation of Tolkien's work are, by far, the best. Their work is classic, harkening back to N.C. Wyeth's fantastic work on Treasure Island and Robin Hood. The Hildebrandts, along with Frank Frazetta, were some of the biggest influences on my career. Here's a pen and ink that I did way back in 1979.

Tim died due to complications of due to diabetes. There is a tribute to him at Spiderweb Art and more of his art can be seen here without all those messy copyright overlays.

a couple of portraits of mick

I haven't got the slightest idea why, but I found both of these in one of my old sketch books. I thought they were kind of fun so I scanned them and had some fun in Photoshop. They were done a bit later, but they bring me back to my college days, especially my last year.

Illustration Friday - Portrait

So, I am back and busy as ever. I have a few deadlines to keep so I'm just going to have to dig deep. This one is from the late eighties. It is one of my faves.

Illustration Friday

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
– Dave Barry

The Cupcake
When I was eight or nine years old, my parents loaded up our '66 T-Bird and headed out for what was to be one of the most amazing trips I would ever take. Some day, I need to sit down with my mother and my sister and write it all down before all of it is lost forever.

To make a very long story short, we took a three week trip across country. The year was 1968 or 69. We left Florida in June and headed west with stops in assorted campgrounds along the way. No, we didn't rough it, we were pulling a 13 foot Shasta camper and we had our faithful dog Peanuts to keep us company and entertain us. We made all the great spots along I-10 and just over 30 years later I find out my wife made almost the identical trip the same year. We were only a few weeks apart as we visited such places as the El Paso with a lttle juant into Mexico. At the time it cost 2¢ to leave the US but 3¢ to return from Mexico. We also visited the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Carlsbad Caverns, Disney Land and the Hoover Dam to name just a few of the spots.

Now, we didn't make the exact same trip. We stopped in Cheyenne, Wyoming to visit my mother's oldest brother and his family. It was the first time I can remember meeting them although I know I met my Uncle Ray and Aunt Jean years before at a family reunion. The "Cupcake Story" actually comes a fews years later when I next saw my cousins. My Uncle Ray had two daughters, Janet and Cindy. Janet is the older sister and had a prothestic leg from the knee down. And for her sixteenth birthday, her younger sister Cindy, decided to play a practical joke on her. She made her an chocolate cupcake laced with Exlax so all night long she heard her sister hopping down the hall to the bathroom. Now it sounds a bit cruel, but siblings will do such things to one another. So that is my cup cake story.

On a side note. My cousin Janet's first husband died in a freak accident not long after the birth of their third child. And just like most young couples, they weren't prepaed for such a loss. The taxes from the estate were mounting and Janet just couldn't keep up. But the IRS can be harsh and demanding, so she turn to her congressman, Dick Cheney for help. He worked with her on her case but before everything was cleared up, in frustration, she removed her leg and wrote her "check" out for the amount owed and sent it to Uncle Sam. Both she and the future VP got a lot of press out of it and Janet actually recieved the "cancelled check" and wore it proudly for many years afterward.

I'm off for vacation now. I won't be back until next week. Be procductive and have fun.

An Anonymous Plea

You know those little signs you see stuck on the side of the road? Most of them are pretty self-serving – slumlords looking to "help you stave off foreclosure" or "Make $5000 a Week from Home".

This one was probably the most selfless signs I have ever seen. It was posted in a place where "homeless" people generally stand and ask for money because they have cancer, or lost their job or met some other wild tale. Now, I'm not a cold-hearted person. I have been known to take some of those unfortunate souls to dinner on occasion or to just listen to their story. This, however, was something special. It was at the bottom of the off-ramp from I-95 near my house. Every time I came home I said a prayer. How could I not?

A few weeks ago, my wife asked me to take a picture of it so she could send it out and add to the prayers for David. Yesterday, I finally made the time to do it and when I got to the spot, I found this simple sign torn into pieces and left on the side of the road.

Someone is going to have some bad mojo for that.

If you are the praying type, please offer one up for David and all the Davids out there. And for the special someone who has so much love that she would ask strangers to pray for her loved one.