Sunday, June 20, 2021

The Whammy Weekend


Growing up, this was always a crazy weekend for me. June 19 is my parents’ anniversary. June 20 is my mother’s birthday. And if these two dates sandwiched together weren’t enough, they usually occurred over Father’s Day Weekend. I didn’t call it ‘The Whammy Weekend’ back then, but I should have. I struggled with what to do for these two wonderful parents that God blessed me with. Their anniversary was always a concrete reminder of what love could be—and should be. They were there for each other—always. And while they disagreed at times, I cannot remember a true fight. They were the loves of each other’s lives—an undying love.
And how could I honor the birth of the woman who raised me up and took care of me, who loved me unconditionally even when I was being a shit? She was a strong, fierce mother. A real beauty, inside and out.

And Father’s Day… I can't imagine a better man and father. He was larger than life and that was a good thing because he had to be larger than life to fit all the life he had inside. If he ever failed at anything, it was holding all that life inside himself. I don’t believe he tried to hold it in. He shared everything good that he had, and that life spilled forth from his body in the smile on his face, the laughter in his voice, and the love he had for everyone. How can you buy or make a gift to repay them for all that they have given you? 


And, of course, I couldn’t leave things alone. As if the Whammy Weekend wasn’t complicated enough, I married the love of my life. Linda’s birthday is the same day as my mother’s, June 20. I often joked that it took me until I was 40 to find a wonderful woman who had the same birthday as my mother so I wouldn’t forget the date, but the truth is, for me at least, June 20 was just a happy coincidence. For my wife, she had to share the day. And I know that sometimes it was tough, but she, like my mother, is an amazing woman who puts up with a lot of my wild living. And I am forever thankful that she is in my life. Happy birthday, my love. 


Hang on folks, I am not finished. Complicated and multi-layered and all-over-the-place is just part of who I am so… I HAD to go and tinker around with Father’s Day. Some of you may have deduced from recent posts that I have been on a bit of a life journey recently. Earlier this week, I got back from a whirlwind trip that was mostly dedicated to discovering who my birth father was. I discovered my birth family through DNA analysis. Unfortunately, both of my birth parents had passed on. I missed meeting my father by a little more than a year. I have been fortunate enough to meet his two sisters and almost all of his other children, and cousins and friends. My father had six more children after I was born and from everything that I learned about him, he, too, loved life and was full of life. And while his path differed greatly from my father, Phil, they were both self-made men and the life of the party. Greatly loved and full of love. Perhaps Daddy Rich had a little too much love to spread around, but I am so grateful for that, too, otherwise I probably would be here writing this. Thank you to all my sisters, brothers, aunts, and cousins for bringing him back to life for me—for just a little while. And from the looks on so many of your faces, it seems that my looks brought him back to life for you, if only for the brief moment of recognition when we finally got to meet face-to-face. 


And how could I talk about Father’s Day without mentioning and bragging on the wonderful woman who is the reason that I am blessed enough to call myself a father? I am so proud of the woman that she has become and while I so miss her being here in our home every day, she will always be with me in my heart and in my thoughts. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. My beautiful, wonderful, amazing, funny, silly, smart, caring daughter Lian has now been cursed with the Whammy Weekend. Curse is not the right word because this weekend, while it might overwhelm at times, is a joyous one, full of life, laughter, and most importantly, love.  

I love my family—old and new. I am so happy we are on this journey together. 

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